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We meet at Egan’s again and I tell them I need more time. Everyone is okay with it. Taking our time is our default mode. I spend most of the night eating duck sandwiches with some kind of cream sauce. It’s delicious. I think about Dylan’s bald head and how Egan has always had his awkward ear-length hair, how Shannon is always about 10 lbs heavy, according to her. She can eat as little or much as she wishes and it won’t change, except by one day’s worth. What would it be like to grow old like this, to be strapped into that bed, repeating like this?I wait for a few repeats, maybe a dozen before I go back but stop at a newsstand on the way. His reaction is the same. We do our ritual ... my ritual anyway. I feign shock. I’m good at it. Hell, we all are. We could win fucking Academy Awards since we act out scripts every day.“Magazines, oh, yes, I have some! I always pick some up just in case someone wants something to read.” I pull out Popular Mechanics, Men’s Health, and The Outdoorsman.. “Mike, you’re an adult and you have to make your own decisions about how to live your life; I get that. I also know I’m not going to agree with all of those decisions, but I’d ask you to show your mother and me the same respect we show you.”“I’m sorry, Dad. I made an error in judgment. I apologize. I didn’t mean to offend you.”“One of the most important parts of being an adult is understanding the impact of your actions.”“Could I ask you a question?”“Sure.”“What did you really think of Jocelyn and me going to Cincinnati?”“Bluntly?”“Yes, please.”“I thought it was a mistake. I think events since then have borne that out.”“Are you trying to say the accident was some sort of punishment by God for our sinful behavior?”Dad sighed, “I may have been raised to believe things like that, but I don’t anymore. What I was trying to say was what happened after that.”“I don’t see the difference. What happened after that was a result of the accident. Or are you saying that if we hadn’t made love, she.
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